You’ve read the book. You followed the directions. You stuck to the program. But lo and behold, life is still f’ing stressful! Why is it that, despite having access to so many resources and techniques for reducing stress, many of us are still living with chronic stress, day in and day out?
If you’re like most people today, stress is a daily struggle. If you’re ambitious, maybe you’ve listened to a few podcasts, and invested in a good personal development book or two, in search of things you can do to change it.
Lots of advice, not a lot of improvement
The nice thing is, there are a lot of really great resources out there about stress reduction and personal development. All kinds of wisdom about how to improve ourselves is increasingly easy to find.
Self-improvement books are an $800 million market, growing at 6% per year.
Sadly, despite this abundance of info, we’re not all as blissed out as you’d expect. In fact, far from it. Today’s generations are reporting higher levels of stress, vs. baby boomers and older Americans:
On top of that, 42% of adults aren’t sure they are doing enough to manage their stress. And, all this stress is impacting our ability to live a healthy life. Among millennials, who have the highest stress levels,
- 51% lay awake at night due to stress
- 41% percent overeat or eat unhealthy food because of stress, and
- 34% have skipped a meal because of stress
So what’s the deal? If we’re all eagerly searching for the answer to stress, and there are literally millions of resources at our fingertips, why are we still so stressed out?
Managing Stress is Not One-Size-Fits-All
One possible reason for such a big disconnect is that a lot of stress management advice is pretty extreme in one way or another. And while this guidance usually sounds good at first, it doesn’t always mesh within the normal, everyday lives most of us live.
Think about it, how often have you heard about a program that:
- Promises success if you dedicate fully to this specific approach
- Claims or implies this is the only way
- Hints that if it doesn’t work for you, it’s because you just aren’t really committed enough
In the midst of all this noise, it can be tough for regular, busy people to find a philosophy that really works for them.
Polar Opposite Styles in Managing Stress
In my exploration of modern stress-management approaches, a lot of advice seems to falls toward the end of two different spectrums: either you have to make Massive Change or you can just take a few Baby Steps. And, you have to embrace the high-intensity Hustle & Grind or jump into new-age, “Woo-Woo” spirituality.
1. Do you have to change your whole life? Or can you just try a few tweaks?
“Quit your job, buy a ticket, fall in love, never return.” This is an actual inspirational plaque I’ve run across, and, it’s not that far from a lot of “common knowledge” about reducing stress. Our society pins jobs, relationships, and other structural parts of life as sources of stress, so naturally a lot of advice you’ll hear is about quitting a job, finding a new partner, or other big life moves.
“How to change your life in 30 seconds…” Just as common as the “change your whole life” mantras are the quick tips and hacks that suggest you can tackle chronic stress with almost no life change at all. A minute of stretching here, a cup of herbal tea there… and you should be good, right?
So, which is it? Totally upend my life, quit my job and live on top of a mountain somewhere? Or just remember to breathe every once in a while and maybe go for a walk? There has to be a middle ground, right?
2. Do you need a super-intense bootcamp-style program? Or can you just visualize success?
“Never give up and never stop grinding.” Heard anything like that recently? I ran across this motivational gem the other day, and it sums up a lot of advice out there about managing stress and our lives. How often are we reminded that anything worth having is going to take effort—and lots of it?
“What you think, you create. What you imagine, you become.” This little inspo-nugget also caught my eye recently, and it could be from a totally different planet than the quote above.
These appear to be two completely diverging worlds. A super-intense, almost bootcamp-like philosophy, is at odds with loosely defined, pseudo-science and new-age ideologies. So, which is it? Do I grind to the bone, or just imagine my way to success?
The reality: Managing Stress is an Individual Job
Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of good ideas behind all this advice. They’re grounded in valid thinking, and can reduce stress for a lot of people.
But despite the passionate testimonials, no approach is a silver bullet for everyone. Most of us don’t naturally fit into a cookie-cutter approach, nor do we need to go to extremes to find relief from chronic stress.
Instead, each one of us is an individual when it comes to managing stress.
The things that cause you stress, how stress makes you feel, and how you can prevent it in your life, these things are all as individual as you are. .
The most important thing about reducing stress is to focus on finding techniques that really resonate with you, even if that means picking-and-choosing from seemingly opposite ideals. Your likelihood of success is not based on how willing you are to go to the extreme. Your likelihood of success is tied to how well your chosen model fits with what best aligns for you.
Your likelihood of success isn't based on how willing you are to go to the extreme. Success depends on how well your path aligns with what's right for you. Share on XHow to Blaze Your Own Stress-Relief Trail
For most people, the ideal de-stressing approach means bringing in techniques from some (or all!) of the extremes. Most of us are made up of a unique combination of a little of everything, and we need techniques that recognize that uniqueness.
Take a few dedicated moments to think about your own tendencies and personality.
- What have you tried before with disappointing results?
- What have you tried that has really stuck?
- Is there anything you’ve been hearing about but didn’t think it was for you?
The good news is, if you’ve been trying out different approaches for managing stress and they aren’t really working for you, there is a reason. Maybe it’s time to give something new a try.
We should all feel empowered to explore what’s out there and craft our own unique path. Keep an open mind, and whatever you decide to try, give it all you’ve got.
Explore:
Do you have to overhaul your life to eliminate stress?
Can a few quick tips help you beat chronic stress?
Is “massive action” the secret to fighting stress?
Are new age, “woo-woo” techniques right for you?
