Do you have to leave your life behind to escape stress?
When it comes to advice on how to eliminate stress, there are a million different approaches, which can make it hard to figure out what’s right for you. And among all the advice, there are some common themes that can be misleading if you’re not careful.
One of the most prominent of these is the idea that to reduce stress, you have to make big life changes: quit your job, find a new partner, move to a new house or town, etc.
While these big life changes might be needed sometimes, it’s certainly not required. And, it’s definitely not the only way to cut out stress. Ironically, these changes can often lead to even more stress in the process!
Why do we look for big life changes to eliminate stress?
Much of western society is built around the idea that life’s major external structures—education, job, marriage, locale—are the source of happiness. And, because we expect these things to make us happy, they’re also consistently rated among the top sources of stress when they don’t.
Because of this, there are plenty of well-meaning resources encouraging you to make a major structural change in your life, as a way to eliminate stress. If you have stress about the job, change your job! What could go wrong! 😀
How this stress myth shows up in everyday life
Because this thinking is so common, it’s hard not to run across it. Dive into any conversation, article, or book about living a better life or finding happiness, and you’ll find references to:
- Escaping that stressful job,
- Finding “the one” (or leaving a stressful relationship),
- Moving to a different town, starting a “new life”,
…and so on. And even in movies, TV, and casual conversations, our culture is ingrained with idea that “the good life” is just around the corner after that major life change. In fact, it can sometimes seem like the only path to happiness is quitting your job and going to live on a mountaintop somewhere.
Why big life changes aren’t a guarantee for eliminating stress
While there’s nothing inherently wrong about changing jobs, upending your life, and moving across the country (hey, I’ve done it several times), the reality is, there’s no guarantee these things will reduce your stress, for a few reasons.
- It might not eliminate your stress. Once you’ve gone through the trouble to change something major about your life, (which can take years), who’s to say the new situation won’t come with its own stress? Worse yet, what if you find yourself stressing over the same old things, once you’ve settled into this new life?
- It can lead to feelings of hopelessness. When we’re bombarded with messages that equate “living a better life” to quitting your job or moving to some remote island, it’s easy to think that unless you can find a way to do that, you’ll be stuck forever in a life of stress and anxiety. Pretty depressing, huh? Thankfully, it’s not true!
- It might be an unnecessary sacrifice. There are many types of stress, and we all experience it in different ways. Not everyone needs a major life change in order to manage the stress they’re up against. It’s also possible to reduce your stress without disrupting your whole life.
Now I’m not against doing difficult things, and sometimes a difficult move is the right one. The important thing to consider is why you’re making a change. If you’re doing so because you really want to, and you’re excited about the venture itself, those actions will pay off in one way or another.
But once we start making a specific job, place, or relationship responsible for lowering our stress levels, it sets up a lot of risk for disappointment.
When big life changes can help to eliminate stress
On the other hand, for some, upending your life can have lots of benefits. There are countless reasons to take big risks to find a job you enjoy, and live in a city you like. And of course, there are times when big things in life are causing real problems that need to be resolved.
The key is to keep your own individual needs in mind, and be realistic about what needs to change in order to address the root of your stress.
Know yourself, and forge a path that is right for you, whether that means a big change or not. If we don’t succumb to the idea that this is the only way to eliminate stress, there’s a lot of good we can take from this way of thinking.
It can:
- Encourage you to think big, broaden your horizons, and challenge your beliefs about what’s possible for you
- Inspire you to explore other ways of life you might not have considered before
- Take an honest look at the big things in your life, and take risks to make them better
Take a leap if you’re looking for big sweeping changes
Are you the kind of person who goes all-in or not at all? Are you a “go big or go home” type? Then you might find big success by taking big risks in life.
The great news is, you’re ambitious, and not afraid of a challenge. Just watch out for the tendency to change big things while ignoring the small things, like your daily habits and mindset. Those will follow you wherever you go, so get those right too. 🙂
Watch out for the tendency to change big things while ignoring the small things, like your daily habits and mindset. Those will follow you wherever you go. Share on XIn the search for lasting, meaningful stress reduction, knowing yourself and your needs will always be your best guide. Whether the life changes are big or small, if they are meaningful for you, they will lead to success.
Next: Can easy tips help you beat chronic stress?
