If it’s so bad for us, why does stress even exist? It’s well documented that repeated stress has countless impacts on our health and well-being, and adds billions to annual healthcare costs. And while many of us try hard to hack the stress out of our lives, the trend continues to get worse. The good news is, it’s not impossible to overcome. Understanding stress can be a helpful first step in reducing its negative impact on our lives.
Once we see how stress has the potential to help us, we can start to get at the heart of why it happens in daily life, leading to better success in managing stress. There are three main things to keep in mind when it comes to understanding stress; each offers a little insight into what you can do about it.
1. Stress is a series of physiological responses
At its core, the feeling of stress comes from physical reactions designed to keep us safe from harm—the familiar “fight or “flight” response. When our body believes a threat is present, it releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, increases our heart rate, and helps us become hyper-alert. Originally, these things were incredibly important to our survival, helping our hunter-gatherer ancestors respond effectively to sudden life-or-death situations. For example, the sound of a snapping twig might trigger a stress response: we’d instantly be on high alert, and ready to defend ourselves, hide, flee—whatever the situation called for.
What’s the Problem With Fight or Flight?
The problem is, we no longer live in the world these reflexes prepared us for. Even in the midst of a global pandemic, many of the things that cause us stress on a daily basis are not sudden, imminent, threats. Instead, they’re usually either:
- Thoughts about potential future events, like valid health concerns, world events, and worry for loves ones, or,
- Ongoing concern about long-term life conditions, like money pressures, family issues, and career.
However, our bodies don’t know the difference. These modern-day “threats” we face still cause our stress responses to fire, even though most of time those physical reactions aren’t what we actually need, to effectively face the issues in front of us.
What’s worse, for most of us, these stress triggers fire constantly, as we go from one perceived threat to the next. Imagine a typical day. Does it involve:
- rushing through a morning routine to get going on time,
- powering through a day of pressure and tension, such as job seeking, deadlines, or caring for others,
- only to worry about home and family responsibilities at night?
No matter our individual situation, constant stress is a built-in part of modern lives these days—even in pre-pandemic times. With so many sources of stress around, our bodies’ reactions to these triggers are what lead to chronic stress, and all its associated health issues.
Knowledge itself is power
Sir Francis Bacon
Understanding the Physical Symptoms of Stress
So what can we do about it? Well, often these physiological responses happen without us even realizing it. But, sometimes, just understanding stress—being aware of what’s happening, and why—means having a little more control over how much stress we feel in the moment. As they say, “knowledge is power,” and being aware of the body’s natural stress reactions can go a long way.
Tip: When feelings of stress show up, pay attention to the physical feelings happening alongside the emotional ones. Is your heart rate elevated? Do you feel “on edge”? Are your muscles tensed up? If so, take a deep breath and let out a long sigh. This sends a signal to your brain that the “threat” has passed, and it’s OK to relax.
Next, take a moment to consider why your body considers the stressful situation a “threat.” Remind yourself: in most cases, even the most stressful situations are not actually life-or-death at that moment; just this thought can start to take the edge off.
As a result, when you slow your breathing and remind your body you’re not being chased by a saber-tooth tiger, you have the power to become calmer and more thoughtful—making you more equipped to handle the situation that really is in front of you.
2. Stress is not all bad
The “fight or flight” response is an important evolution designed to protect us, and we still benefit from it today. If we look at stressful situations in the right way, we can actually harness a stressful reaction for good. By understanding stress better, we can use it to our advantage.
Think about these benefits of being under stress:
- It gives you a burst of energy. Professional athletes, musicians, and other performers know: those butterflies of stress can either bring you down, or make you ready to spring into action. Ride the wave of alertness and heightened energy from the stress response, to power your best performance, whether it be on the stage, in an important meeting, or cranking through a tough assignment.
- It can inspire growth. It’s human nature: we rarely make a change when things are smooth sailing. As a result, we don’t usually grow during those easy times. While stress is no fun, it’s really useful for pointing out what we care most about, what we want to change, and where we might want to take action. Pay attention to those anxious or uneasy feelings as a starting point, and stress can be your guide to where you can have an impact in your life or in the world, through positive change.
- It really does make us stronger. Imagine a toddler who just dropped his favorite toy and can’t reach it under the table. It’s the END. OF. THE. WORLD. Five years later, that same boy will handle the situation completely differently. He might figure out how to get it himself, ask a parent or sibling, or simply move on and play with something else. He has learned, through experience, that life will go on. It’s really no different for adults. Enduring a stressful situation and coming out on the other side shows us how strong we really are, illuminates what we’re really capable of, and teaches us valuable coping skills.
Tip: Next time you’re caught in an unavoidable stressful situation, take a moment to think about how the stress is propelling you forward, leading to a lesson, or highlighting areas of change in your life. Can you imagine an outcome in which you’re stronger and more resilient as a result of this experience?
3. While stress is natural, it’s not inevitable.
As hard as it might be to believe, no situation is, on its own, inherently stressful. Stress is a human reaction, and it affects all of us differently, for different reasons. Think about it: what stresses you out may not stress out someone else, and vice versa. In fact, you may find that your own reactions to a specific event even vary from day to day.
So, what accounts for these differences? Why do some people seem to be unbelievably stoic in conditions that trigger unbearable anxiety in others? Have you ever found yourself upset about something, and dumbfounded that someone close to you wasn’t equally upset? Or conversely, watching someone else get worked up and thinking they were totally overreacting?
Our responses to events in life are primarily based on our individual backgrounds and experiences, and most importantly, our beliefs. On top of that, the context at the time can play a big part too:
- Is traffic more annoying when you’re running late?
- Is a big assignment more stressful when you think the company’s considering layoffs and your job is on the line?
A Little Secret About Understanding Stress
This variability actually points to something important about the nature of stress. The fact that we experience stress differently means it’s never a foregone conclusion that a situation has to be stressful. Stress is a result of our reaction to a situation, not the specific events or situation itself. And so, even though we can’t always control what happens around us, we can have some control over what we feel as a result of it.
Stress is a result of our reaction to a situation, not the specific events or situation itself. Share on XThere are many tactics for identifying, understanding, and changing our individual stress triggers, which I’ll explore in upcoming posts. In the meantime, just the idea that you might have some control over stress can be incredibly empowering. Embrace the challenge of seeing situations differently.
Tip: Next time a situation feels unbearably stressful, picture someone you know who tends to have a calm demeanor more often than not. Or, maybe a public figure who always seems to have it under control. How would that person react in this situation? Why? What parts of that mindset can you see yourself adopting in this moment?
Understanding Your Own Stress
We all experience stress in different ways for different reasons. But, the primitive basics of stress are universal, and part of what makes us human. By understanding stress, where it comes from, and how it affects us, we can actually harness the experience to learn, grow, and become more effective in our lives.
One way to begin this process is to just become curious about your own stress reactions. See if you can just witness your own reactions the next time stress pops up. While it’s tough at first, this mindset can be the starting point for having much more control over day to day stress.
Next: How a Winding Journey Can Bring You Back to the Present
